Must you have everything Sean Penn!?!?

NEWS

-Thanks for the memories, Fargo!  It’s been nice knowing you. - Read More

- 17-year-old Olympic medalist Shawn Johnson has a stalker. The guy showed up at the taping of “Dancing with the Stars” and said that he wanted to impregnate her. He also said that she spoke to him using ESP.  Now you may think this guy is completely insane but you are wrong, he is from Florida. - Read More

- So in 2002, they reported grandma missing.  People looked for her for 7 years.  Signs were put up. Well, grandma is always in the last place you look.  Hint: Look under the giant piles of garbage in her house. - Read More

- What the? Sean Penn & Natalie Portman were seen making out. The dude gets an Oscar. He already has a hot wife. He gets to play one of the three stooges.  I hate you Sean Penn.  - Read More

- Apparently, the thought of Sean and Natalie making out excited Latin musician Elvis Crespo.  A person sitting next to him on a plane told officials that the “Suavemente” performer took out his junk and masturbated.  It shouldn’t be a surprise, “Suavemente” roughly translated does mean “whip it out and touch it” (I could be wrong).  See what happens when you charge for headphones and don’t give free snacks? - Read More

- This hotel is offering a stimulus package that features chocolate-covered strawberries, flowers, champagne, a romantic dinner and breakfast in bed.  Get it?  They are playing on the word “stimulus”… lame. - Read More

- I am going to try do this one only in catch phrases.  Arnold will not be back so Hasta La Vista….Baby but don’t worry, it’s not a tumor. - Read More

- This guy had an idea to let a homeless guy promote a website on corner instead of the traditional “Starvin like Marvin” sign.  The site “PimpThisBum.com” was able to raise $50,000 for the homeless man that did the promoting.  How is that for cool?  Huh?  Insulting?  Oh no, that was intentional, they wanted to insult people’s sensitivity and appeal to their funny bone.  Hey c’mon, it worked.  They are now going to franchise out and giving signs to other groups.  Blind people will now promote, “DoMyClothesMatch.org” and midgets will promote, “IamUseless.com”. - Read More